MARRIAGE IS FOR LOSERS

I Can imagine the look on your face when the title "Marriage is for Losers" hit your screen. I can only imagine the pictures racing through your mind at such a crazy statement. But Yes, If you have to stay Married you have to join the losing team. When a couple decides to love each other, losing becomes a way of life. What are you ready to lose Everything, somethings or Nothing?

Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.

When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first kind of marriage, both spouses are competing to win, and it’s a duel to the death. Husbands and wives are armed with a vast arsenal, ranging from fists, to words, to silence. These are the marriages that destroy. Spouses destroy each other, and, in the process, they destroy the peace of their children. In fact, the destruction is so complete that research tells us it is better for children to have divorced parents than warring parents. These marriages account for most of the fifty percent of marriages that fail, and then some. The second kind of marriage is ripe with winning and losing, but the roles are set, and the loser is always the same spouse. These are the truly abusive marriages, the ones in which one spouse dominates, the other submits, and in the process, both husband and wife are stripped of their dignity. These are the marriages of addicts and enablers, tyrants and slaves, and they may be the saddest marriages of all.But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other. These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.

And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.

Because we live in a culture in which losing is the enemy (except in Chicago, where Cubs fans have made it a way of life). We wake up to news stories about domestic disputes gone wrong. Really wrong. We go to workplaces where everyone is battling for the boss’s favor and the next promotion, or we stay at home where the battle for the Legos is just as fierce. Nightly, we watch the talking heads on the cable news networks, trying to win the battle of ideas, although sometimes they seem quite willing to settle for winning the battle of decibels. We fight to have the best stuff, in the best name brands, and when we finally look at each other at the end of the day, we fight, because we are trained to do nothing else. And, usually, we have been trained well. In the worst of cases, we grew up fighting for our very survival, both physically and emotionally. But even in the best of situations, we found ourselves trying to win the competition for our parents’ attention and approval, for our peers’ acceptance, and for the validating stamp of a world with one message: win. And, so, cultivating a marriage in which losing is the mutual norm becomes a radically counter-cultural act. To sit in the marital therapy room is to foment a rebellion.

What do the rebellious marriages look like? Lately, when my blood is bubbling, when I just know I’ve been misunderstood and neglected, and I’m ready to do just about anything to convince and win what I deserve, I try to remember a phone call we recently received from my son’s second grade teacher. She called us one day after school to tell us there had been an incident in gym class. After a fierce athletic competition, in which the prize was the privilege to leave the gym first, my son’s team had lost. The losers were standing by, grumbling and complaining about second-grade-versions of injustice, as the victors filed past. And that’s when my son started to clap. He clapped for the winners as they passed, with a big dopey grin on his face and a smile stretched from one ear of his heart to the other. His startled gym teacher quickly exhorted the rest of his team to follow suit. So, a bunch of second grade losers staged a rebellion, giving a rousing ovation for their victorious peers, and in doing so, embraced the fullness of what it can mean to be a loser. When I’m seething, I try to remember the heart of a boy, a heart that can lose graciously and reach out in affection to the victors.

In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.

Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick. Maybe we need to be formed in such a way that winning loses its glamour, that we can sacrifice the competition in favor of people. Maybe what we need, really, is to become a bunch of losers in a world that is being a torn apart by the competition to win. If we did that, maybe we’d be able to sleep a little easier at night, look our loved ones in the eyes, forgive and forget, and clap for the people around us.

I think that in a marriage of losers, a synergy happens and all of life can explode into a kind of rebellion that is brighter than the sun. The really good rebellions, the ones that last and make the world a better place, they are like that, aren’t they? They heal, they restore. They are big, and they shine like the sun. And, like the sun, their gravitational pull is almost irresistible.


Culled From Dr Kelly

'HALF OF A YELLOW SUN" BANNED OR NOT BY NIGERIA CENSORS BOARD

The long awaited movie "Half of a Yellow Sun" which was due to be released yesterday in Lagos for general viewing did not happen. Some say the NFVCB may have banned the movie as it will raise dust of the untold civil war saga but the director said no formal letter has been written to him inline with this even if it were to be so. So what is happening to airing the famous movie in our own country that has gained so much international acclaim? It is about time we tell our story to the younger generation. Read details as reported by PREMIUM TIMES;

The Nigeria Film and Video Censor Board has delayed the release of Half of a Yellow Sun, the movie adaptation of the critically acclaimed novel by Chimamanda Adichie.
The movie was expected to start showing in cinemas across Nigeria starting from Friday.It had earlier been premiered in London and Lagos.

The movie’s director, Biyi Bandele, speaking to the BBC’s Focus on Africa, said that he did not know why the film was delayed.

The Nigeria film board saw the film seven months ago, Mr Bandele said

“What’s frustrating is we have not received a formal letter from the board telling us we’ve been banned, or that we’ve not been banned,” he lamented.

Though the NFVCB has not said the film has been banned, observers speculate that the delay may be linked to the content of the movie.

The novel, Half of a Yellow Sun, was centered on the Nigeria civil war – the Biafran war – and was told from the perspective of the Biafrans.

In an interview with Arise 360 in March, Ms. Adichie stated that her reasons for writing the novel included starting up a discussion about the war among her generation of Nigerians.

However, there are some who feel that the war, which took place between 1966 and 1970, is still fresh and the issues surrounding it too sensitive for public discussion.

Some initial critics of the movie,after its Lagos premiere, also found problem with the nudity in it. In a particular scene, actress, Thandie Newton, was filmed with her breasts exposed. Nigeria tends to style itself as a conservative country with high religious morals, a stance promoted by its leaders and government officials. The country’s conservatism is sometimes highlighted in the type of entertainment material consumed by its citizens. Regulatory bodies, such as the Board and the National Broadcasting Corporation, NBC, have often banned films, videos, and songs from airing on television or radio due, to their highly sexual content.

OBA OF BENIN ENDORSES GEJ FOR SECOND TERM

Oba of Benin, Omo N’Oba Erediauwa

The Oba of Benin, Oba Erediauwa I, has urged President Goodluck Jonathan to seek re-election even as he urged him not to be distracted by the wave of disturbances in parts of the country.

He assured the President that the spirit of the ancestors of the Benin kingdom would see him through.

The monarch’s message was delivered to the President by his first son, Ambassador Eheneden Erediuwa, who was accompanied to the Presidential Villa by the Chairman, Ocean Marine Tankers Limited, Capt. Hosa Okunbo.

He said, “He (Erediauwa)also prays that the opportunity will come for him to continue the good work he is doing in Benin and other parts of the South-South for at least another term.

He told State House correspondents at the end of his meeting with the President that his father decided to send him on the errand because the monarch no longer travels due to old age.

The prince said, “I am here on a special mission and having been an ambassador to many countries, I can say I am a special envoy who is carrying a special message on behalf of my father who sent me here to convey this message to Mr. President that we have been following the things that have been happening in the country.

“My father is praying for Mr. President in the Benin Kingdom. He is praying fervently for him to be able to withstand the pressure. He sent me to let Mr. President know that the spirits of the ancestors of the kingdom are with him and they will see him through.

“He also pray that the opportunity will come for him to continue the good work he is doing in Benin and other parts of South-South for at least another term.

“That is the commitment we have in this kind of special prayer coming from the Oba of Benin. He sent me as his eldest son, so you can imagine the importance that my father attaches to such a message.”

He said the monarch also requested that Jonathan finds time to visit him in Benin so that he could offer him fatherly advice that would help in nation building.

NO BREAK-UPS: P SQUARE RECONCILES

I think the Okoye brothers have decide to stick together. thanks to your prayers Super Fans. See their simultaneous solidarity tweets





Then the newest Mrs Okoye also tweets

CAPTURED BOKO HARAM MEMBERS POSING AS FULANI HERDSMEN

This is a picture of 17 Boko Haram Members posing as herdsmen who have been committing heinous acts in the North. They were arrested after a failed attack at a military checkpoint. Read details below...

A group of terrorists posing as herdsmen have been arrested at the outskirts of Wukari, while two others died after an attack on a military checkpoint at Gindin Dorowa, a suburb of Wukari in Taraba State.

Other members of the group were sighted during an aerial surveillance and later trailed to their camp where they engaged the troops in a gun battle. The terrorists were clad in the usual attire of their counterparts operating in Borno and Yobe States. Assorted arms and ammunition were recovered from them.

This was disclosed yesterday in a statement issued and signed by director of information, Defence Headquarters, Major General Chris Olukolade.

According to the statement, one of the apprehended armed men confessed that he had been fighting for the terrorist group in Borno State and was recently brought to Wukari area in furtherance of their mission.

The Defence spokesman also disclosed that the curfew in Wukari would be relaxed since normalcy was returning to the town.

He said: “The curfew imposed on Wukari and its environs is expected to be relaxed as normalcy returns to the town. Troops have maintained patrol of the area while a house-to-house search for arms is ongoing”.

The military also disclosed that troops on patrol of the Lake Chad Islands had made some arrests.

“Among those arrested was a boat operator who ferries terrorists across the Lake Chad while another confessed to being a supplier of hard drugs to the terrorist groups in the area,” he said.

In the meantime, the search for the abducted students of Government Girls’ Secondary School, Chibok, is also being intensified by the troops.

NIGERIAN MUSLIM CLERICS RECRUITING BOKO HARAM SAYS US MILITARY

Nigerian Muslim clerics living in the border towns of Cameroon and Nigeria are recruiting Boko Haram members in their mosques, the government of Cameroon has alleged. Worse still, government officials in the North East states of Yobe, Borno and Adamawa collaborate with the terrorists and take bribes from them, thereby, hindering the fight against the terrorists. Governors of these states also capitalise on their civilian fears to berate the army and the federal government.

These allegations were published in a report, yesterday, by US-based online military news agency, StrategyPage. The magazine explains that the army wants governors in the affected states removed because “many officials in those states are cooperating with Boko Haram (to avoid attack) and are taking bribes from the Islamic terrorists.

“Some of these officials are covering themselves in case Boko Haram should gain power and the governors are often just responding to civilian fears of army misconduct,” it noted.

The magazine said: “Cameroon is also concerned about pro-Boko Haram clerics from Nigeria quietly preaching and recruiting for Boko Haram in Cameroon mosques.

“Islamic conservative clergy are not unusual on either side of the border, but those who do not denounce Boko Haram are suspected of quietly recruiting young men to join the “jihad” (struggle) and fight (and often die) in Nigeria. These preachers have to recruit quietly because otherwise police in Cameroon will arrest and deport them, sometimes after a vigorous interrogation. Evidence of this recruiting is showing up when some of the recruits return from Nigeria with tales of disillusionment and adversity while with Boko Haram,” the report said.

The magazine said that the Cameroonian government is “being criticized because recent claims of large (over 5,000 weapons) arms seizures near the Nigerian border could not be verified by reporters. Civilians living in villages near where the government said the seizures took place said they saw nothing. The government responded that the smugglers operated in remote areas and avoided civilians as well as security forces. There are also concerns that even if weapons were seized they would, as often happens, be sold back to black market arms dealers so that government officials could keep the cash.”

On the military, the report said: “Residents of those three states have justifiable complaints about the army, in particular the casual attitude of the military towards the safety of civilians and their property.

“The army is also unreliable when it comes to sharing information on casualties. Thus Boko Haram related deaths so far this year are believed to be (based on local reports) at least 1,500, which is 50 per cent more than what the army reports. Boko Haram related deaths from 2010 to 2013 were about 3,600, so the violence is not declining.

“The government has been saying, for several years, that Boko Haram would be crushed within a year and never happens. More insightful observers point out that the problem is mainly one of corruption and poverty, as well as the appeal of Islamic radicalism as a magical cure. All of Nigeria suffers from corruption.

“Poverty is more prevalent in the Muslim north, in part because of climate. That’s because the semi-desert Sahel region south of the Sahara Desert is found in the north. Another problem is the more conservative nature of Islamic populations and the lower education levels.”

- See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/04/nigerian-muslim-clerics-recruiting-boko-haram-members-cameroon-govt/#sthash.Nr55kwLe.dpuf

TEACHER RAPES AND IMPREGNATES 12 YEAR OLD

One Chukwudi Boniface, a teacher at Bright Kids Academy, Barkin Ladi, Plateau State has been reportedly arrested by the state police command for raping and impregnating a 12-year-old Primary three pupil of the school (name withheld).

Public relations officer of the police command, SP Felicia Anselm who confirmed the arrest said investigation into the matter was ongoing.

“The man has been arrested and investigation is ongoing and he will be charged to court. The girl is already four months pregnant and I want to assure the public that justice will be done in the matter,” she said.

LEADERSHIP gathered that gathered that the private school which is located in Barkin Ladi had in December 2013, introduced an extramural lesson and only four of the pupils attended the lesson including the victim.

It was further gathered that Chukwudi had on one occasion, after giving the pupils classwork, told the victim to wait for him in the other classroom with her book where he committed the crime.

The 12-year-old girl while narrating how the teacher raped her, said, “my teacher called me to come close and held my hands and then he forced me down and removed my clothes and had sex with me. I cried but nobody came to help me and when he finished, he warned me not to tell anybody and said if I did, he will deal with me.”

A close family source, who preferred anonymity, said the victim is an orphan and following the treats by the teacher, she kept the secret to herself “until few months later, when we began to notice some pregnancy symptoms and after thorough investigation, she confessed.”

MASS ABDUCTION: PARENTS SAY 234 GIRLS MISSING, 39 ESCAPED

There seems to be alot of uncertainty in the number of girls missing from Chibok. Contrary to the 129 reported by the media, the parents have claimed that about 234 girls are yet to be re-united with their parents, that only 39 has escaped. According to Leadership Newspaper-

The parents made this known when the state governor, Mr Kashim Shettima finally visited the attacked school yesterday.

This was as the search party, made up of mostly parents and volunteers from Chibok had to return home, having been warned of the dangers of moving into the camps of the Boko Haram at the heart of Sambisa without any serious arms.

The parents of the missing students also faulted the claim by government officials that 45 of the girls had escaped and had been reunited with them. According to the parents, only 39 girls had escaped so far.

The principal, Mrs Asabe Kwambura however insisted that the number of girls reunited with their parents was 43. She also claimed that lots of students were in the school on the day of the attack. She said that the total number of girls in boarding at the school was 405 and that 234 were still missing.

Kwambura and the state commissioner for education, Musa Inuwa Kubo, had both said that 129 students that were taking science exams were in the school at the time of the attack and that 45 of them had been reunited with their families, having escaped captivity.

But the parents insisted that the number of students in the school was more than that. They argued that some of the girls who were not taking the science exams were in school, waiting for their friends in science classes to finish their exams before they would all leave the school together when the incident occurred. A non-academic staff member of GGSS, Chibok confirmed this to LEADERSHIP saying, “You know girls with their ways; some would want to wait until their sister or friend is through before they would all go home together.”

At the school premises, Governor Shettima was conducted round the completely burnt down school. The commissioner for education said the school was set ablaze after the students had been taken away by the abductors.

One of the parents, Mrs Shettima Hamma said, “We trailed the abductors of our daughters into very dangerous places inside the forest, but we couldn’t go far because we were warned against going further since we have no sophisticated weapons that could match that of those holding our daughters.

“When we heard that they had attacked the school, we rushed down here, but found our daughters missing. We were asked to register the names of our daughters, which we all did, but up to this moment, we have not seen 234 of our daughters. We have only seen 39 of our daughters that were able to escape on their own.”

Another parent, who did not introduce himself while briefing the governor and other visitors to the school, recounted in detail how they had on their own, without any security personnel trailed the abductors into Sambisa Forest, a distance of over 50km from Chibok.

He described how they had ventured into the forest along a path following directions given them by a number of people they met along the way, until they arrived at a point where they were advised to go no further, as it was too dangerous.

He said, “We continued to move on until we met an old man who warned us that if we ventured into that part of the forest without any security personnel following us, we would all be killed together with our daughters. He advised us that we go back to Damboa and get more security agents to help, lest we embark on a most dangerous mission.”

A man, Musa Muka, who could not hold back his tears as he kept weeping uncontrollably, told LEADERSHIP that his 17-year-old daughter was among those kidnapped and taken away.

“I have not seen my dear daughter, she is a good girl. We plead with government to help rescue her and her friends. We pray nothing happens to her.”

Senator Muhammed Ali Ndume who was there with the governor as a representative of the area at the Senate, could not control his emotions as he addressed the parents, describing the abduction as the worst thing that could ever happen to any parent.

“We are all touched by the incident concerning the abduction of our daughters. I am a father too; I have 10 children and every day, I put my children in the position of these girls currently in captivity and I weep for them, I weep for the poor parents. My heart goes out to you all, so is our governor here. But you should know our limitations here in the state concerning the security deployment. Neither the governor nor I has control over our security; we can only plead with the federal government to assist us. But be assured that we are doing our best to see that these girls are freed in one piece.”

Governor Shettima who also could not control his emotions, described the abduction as the worst of Boko Haram’s actions and said the security operatives were doing their best to see that the girls were rescued unharmed.

On the controversy surrounding the actual number of the missing girls, the principal, who appeared very confused, told journalists that, “The total number of missing female students now stands at 230. Initially before the arrival of the governor, 234 were missing, but we just recovered an additional four female students.”

She further said that, “The number of girls recovered so far is 43. It is only 43 girls we have recovered and handed over to their parents.”

On why she had given an initial figure of 129 girls missing, the principal said, “The 129 I gave were those that sat for Physics exam on the day they were abducted. The total number of female boarding students is 405; this means that out 405, 230 are still missing.”

She insisted that the total number of abducted girls was less than the 234 the parents were quoting.

“But the other issue is that out of the 230 girls missing, some of them had run home to their parents and we have not received any information on them. It will also interest you to note that the school was initially Government Girls Secondary School Chibok but in 2011, it became Government Secondary School Chibok, which now allowed for male students. So the entire student population, including day students who are boys, is 530,” Mrs Kwambura said.

SPORTSNEWS: MOYES BOWS OUT OF MANCHESTER UNITED

David Moyes

This Decision Has probably been long overdue by the United management. 

David Moyes, the man who was choosen by former Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson to succeed him when he retired after 26 years in charge, has been sacked as the club's manager after only 10 months.
Moyes, 50, was dismissed at a meeting with executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward at the club's Carrington training ground this morning, BBC reports.

Moyes left Everton to sign a six-year deal with Manchester United in 2013 but the premiere league champions have been playing poorly since he took over as manager.

Man U player-coach Ryan Giggs is expected to take charge of the club's next game at home against Norwich this coming Saturday.

Netherlands coach Louis Van Gaal, Borussia Dortmund boss Jurgen Klopp, Atletico Madrid's manager Diego Simeone and Paris St-Germain's Laurent Blanc have already been tipped as possible successors to Moyes, BBC reports.

SEVEN MORE GIRLS ESCAPE FROM BOKO HARAM'S DEN

Seven more girls out of the 100+ girls that were abducted from Government Girls Secondary School Chibok, Borno state on April 14th have escaped the Boko Harem den. According to the Borno State Governor, Kashim Settima who revealed this during his Easter message to the state, the girls escaped between Saturday night and Sunday evening and have reunited with their families. He said out of the 129 that were kidnapped, 52 have reunited with their families while 77 are yet to be found.


The Governor described the last one week as the most troubling of his tenure since he assumed office
"I have seen very serious moments since I became the Governor of Borno State in 2011 at a period of insurgent crisis. I have seen many innocent lives lost for no reason and I mourn every life lost with empathy and high sense of responsibility. But the last one week have been my worst days as a Governor and even the worst in my life. I am troubled as a father, as a leader and as a politician. So much is being done by rescue teams. There is very high commitment on the part of the Federal, State and Chibok local government authorities in working for the freedom of these innocent daughters of ours that are future leaders and mothers of future leaders” he said.

WITCH HUNTER: HELEN UKPABIO DEPORTED FROM UK, SHE IS A THREAT TO YOUNG PEOPLE

Few weeks ago it was reported that the popular Evangelist, Helen Ukpabio the founder of Liberty Foundation Gospel Ministries and movie producer, may be banned from the UK for her messages on witch craft and wizardry which is said to be a risk to young people in the country.

The 'witch hunter' who wrote in her book ‘Unveiling The Mysteries of Witchcraft’, that "If a child under the age of two screams in the night, cries and is always feverish with deteriorating health he or she is a servant of Satan", was deported last week after campaigners called on UK Home Secretary to deport and ban her from the UK for leading the spread of witch hunting in Nigeria, especially among children, some of whom have suffered torture and even killed. (Read that here) 

Helen, who was in the UK on tour to promote her belief in witchcraft and offer help to those ‘under threat’ from the wizardry, was not only deported, there are also reports that she has been banned from entering the UK until further notice.

FIFA WORLD CUP: OSAZE IN, IKE UCHE OUT

As the FIFA world cup draws closer, Nigerians are highly expectant especially who is going to be on Coach Keshi's list to Brazil. Well, a peek into the list from an insider has shown that Osaze may be in and Ike Uche out. Read full details below from Sunday Sun....

If nothing changes after Tuesday’s NFF technical committee meeting with Keshi, then England based Osaze Odemwingie would be making a return to the Super Eagles for the Brazil 2014 World Cup, just as six home lads get into the 35- man provisional list to be sent to world soccer governing body, FIFA.

Sunday Sunsports exclusively gathered that Keshi has handed the Eagles World Cup list to team scribe Dayo Enebi Achor who would in turn make it available to the technical committee ahead of the crucial Tuesday meeting where it would be discussed and ratified before being sent to FIFA.

According to our source 29 foreign based and six homers got Keshi’s nod. Topping the list of the foreign pros is Osaze Odemwingie, who is making a return to the team, while Chigozie Agbim is leading the homers.


The six home lads on the list are Chigozie Agbim (Gombe United) Dan Akpeyi (Warri Wolves), Ejike Uzoenyi (Rangers), Azubuike Egwueke (Warri Wolves), Kunle Odunlami (Sunshine) and Abdullahi Shehu (Kano Pillars). It would be noted that all the six players were part of the bronze winning CHAN 2014 squad.

Our source further disclosed that Osaze is in the list, alongside injured newcomer Leon Balogun.

One player whose name is conspicuously missing is that of Spain based forward Ike Uche. According to our source Keshi has since explained to NFF bigwigs why he does not want Uche in the team in spite of his current form.
And everything points to the technical committee respecting the wish of the coach in a bid to avoid Keshi accusing the federation of interfering in his job.

“Maigari has started reaching out to the technical committee members to simply ok the list because he doesn’t want any problem as the Eagles begin their final build up for the World Cup,” our source said.

The NFF, we further gathered, has since last week gone ahead to process the travelling documents of the home lads on the provisional list.

“The home based players were in Abuja last week to secure their British and USA visa. The only person that didn’t come to Abuja was Agbim who has a running two year multiple visa to US,” our source said, adding, “the NFF is doing everything to ensure that nothing is amiss from its end. The players will get their visa for the London friendly against Scotland and the camping exercise in USA. Its now up to the coaches to do their job and ensure the Eagles have a decent World Cup outing in Brazil.”

QUESTION: Who do you want to see in Keshi's 35 Man list for the World Cup in Brazil ?

GUNMEN ATTACK STAFF QUARTERS, KILLS FIVE YEAR OLD

Boko Haram men in the early hours of today April 20th attacked the Government Girls Secondary School (GGSS), Yana, killing a 5year old girl and setting some buildings in the staff quaters ablaze.

The Bauchi State Police spokesperson, DSP Haruna Mohammed while confirming the incident said the gunmen stole a private vehicle belonging to the Principal of the School and also destroyed a bank vault

“Unknown gunmen attacked the staff quarters of GGSS Yana, Shira Local Government Area of Bauchi State, around 2.30am on Sunday. They set the school bus ablaze; and in the process, a five-year-old girl was killed in the fire while they destroyed the vault of a bank,’’ he said

He said a combined team of security forces are on the trail of the attackers.

OPEN LETTER TO GEJ: NIGERIAN STUDENTS IN MALAYSIA CRY OUT

It seems like the situation concerning Nigerians in Diaspora gets worse everyday.I culled this out from LIB, it is an open Letter written by Malaysian Student body(Nigeria) appealing to President Jonathan to intervene in the ongoing marginalisation against them. Read details below....

Nigerian Students studying in Malaysia have written an open letter to President Jonathan seeking his intervention in what they described as the continued injustice meted on them by the Malaysian police authorities.

The students under the aegis, National Association of Nigerian Students Asia, in their letter which was signed by the President of the association, Prince David O.C Nwaogwugwu, cataloged cases of undue police harassment faced by some Nigerian students and also accused the Nigerian Consulate staff in Malaysian of being non-nonchalant towards the harassment and victimization they have faced in recent times. Continue...

Nwaogwugwu said;

"Nigerians are now constantly being duped of their tuition fees and falsely accused of crimes not committed by the institutions they study in, their apartments being regularly raided even without warrants, blackmailed and set up for the purpose of extortion, falsified evidence accepted by judges against them in courts which are presented by the police and prosecutors, deported by the immigration authorities for the failure of the institutions of learning and the same immigration departments who fail to quickly process the renewal of Visa for these Nigerian students who have handed in their passports for weeks, months and even years.

"There are several cases where police officers in connivance with school security personnel’s, local and foreign agents and lawyers go after students who they believe have financial backing at home. They blackmail such students and threaten to put them in trouble if they do not pay certain amounts of money. Some of the students who refuse to be oppressed by such threats are then arrested, taken to court and false evidence presented against them. In the courts, the prosecutors do not allow the students to speak in protest or self defense. The proceedings in Malaysia courts against Nigerian students are carried out in the Malaysia language of which Nigerians schooling in Malaysia are not mandated by any law to study Malay and therefore do not understand what the prosecutors are telling the judge or what the judge is saying to the court” he said.

Some of the cases involving Nigerian students includes

Among the cases listed by Nwaogwugwu was that of Nkem Okpa, a research student who was detained for 11 days on mere suspicions three years ago.
There were other cases:
1. Gabriel (2010): Arrested on the street and thrown into a bus with some people who had been arrested for drug possession. He had never met the other people arrested with him before. Gabriel was in Sungai Buloh Prisons until 2013 when the culprit pleaded guilty. Gabriel’s entire life has been ruined for nothing.
2. Oyewole (2013): Student arrested for not being in possession of his passport which had been submitted to his school for visa renewal. The Police went ahead to carry away cloths and electronics in his apartment.
3. Segun (2013): House mate to Oyewole. They were arrested together and their possessions stolen by the police.
4. Adeniji (2013): A student arrested and deported while his passport had been submitted to school for renewal.
5. Victor (2013) Student arrested on the school campus for being in possession of drugs he knew nothing about. His house mate confirmed he was set up. In court, the police presented false evidence against Victor. Victor refusing to be blackmailed by the schools security and the police inspector in charge of the case spent about 3 months in remand until his parents told him to plead guilty and be done with it. The High commission was informed but nothing was done about it.6. Bartholomew (2013): Arrested for a crime he knew nothing about. Evidence and witnesses prove his innocence but he is still locked up in Jail and the Nigerian High Commission is saying nothing.-Body Number : 313….
7. Umar Garkida (2013): Arrested from his hostel, false evidence of drugs presented in court against him. He has refused to be intimidated to plead guilty and has been in jail since November while the High commission and his school are silent.
8. Fahat Sanda (2013): Arrested from his hostel, false evidence of drugs presented in court against him. He has refused intimidation, refused to plead guilty to a crime not committed and so has been in jail since November. The school and High commission are silent.
9. Umar (2014): Arrested from in front of his hostel by the police. Asked for his passport which he had submitted to the school for renewal of Visa, he stated his case and presented his ID as the Student Rep President alongside his student ID, but the police insisted on arresting him unless he paid some bribe. Umar called Mr Banum the head of the school security to come and identify him as the Student Rep President, but he never came. The police officer then arrested Umar and took him to the station and threatened to put him in trouble. Umar then succumbed to the threat and paid Rm300 to regain his freedom on the spot. On returning to the school premises, Umar confronted Mr Banum to know why he refused coming to identify him but there was no response. He then requested that the money he paid be refunded of which Mr Banum said he will refund him and write a petition against the officer in question. Till date, nothing has been heard about the issue.
10.. Several Nigerian students in February 2014 were arrested within their school premises by the police and immigration personnel’s for not being in possession of their documents which had been submitted to the school and hence immigration for renewal. The School ignored these students for about 2weeks to suffer in detention and the High Commission did nothing.
Nwaogwugwu also listed in the letter death cases involving Nigerians
1. Onoche Martins (March 2012): Master degree student. Killed by Malaysian Police personnel’s after he allegedly outraged the modesty of a 43year old lady by hugging, kissing and exposing himself by 11am. These accusations do not make sense to any sane being. Nothing has been heard from the Nigerian High Commission.
2. Solomon Okolo (March 2013): Student from Delta state. Killed by Malaysian citizens in the presence of Malaysian police officers after crashing his vehicle. His wife was at the scene of the incident and to date, nothing has been heard about that case or the culprits. The High commission is silent.
3. Tunde Adelabu (March 2014): A Student Killed by Malaysia policemen who ran away after shooting him. Later on, the policemen came back and arrested Tunde’s friend who had witnessed the shooting. Today, nobody knows where this boy has been taken to or if he is still alive. The school he attended are now denying he was ever their student. The High commission is still silent.
4. In India on the 25th of March 2014, Two Nigerians were found stabbed on Devli Road, New Delhi. One of them succumbed to injuries and died while the other is at the AIIMS Trauma Centre.
5. In Malaysia, a Nigerian died in detention camp sometime in March. The Nigerian High Commission was invited for the burial or which they attended without contacting the family of this Nigerian. The family of this Nigerian back home believes their son is alive somewhere. The High Commission should give reasons for their action

The students are asking that Mr President intervene in the matter.

HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL

I wish you all a Happy Easter and a splendid celebration. Remember to pray for Nigeria. God Bless you all.

BOKO HARAM CLAIMS RESPONSIBITY FOR THE NYANYA BOMB BLAST

The leader of Nigeria’s Boko Haram Islamists Abubakar Shekau claimed responsibility for a bombing in Nigeria’s capital that killed at least 75 people via a video message.

“We are the ones that carried out the attack in Abuja,” Shekau said in the 28-minute video, referring to the deadliest attack ever in Nigeria’s capital which targeted Nyanya bus station packed with morning commuters.

Seated with a kalashnikov resting on his left shoulder and dressed in military uniform, the insurgent commander spoke in both Arabic and the Hausa language that is dominant in northern Nigeria.

The message was delivered to AFP in a manner consistent with previous videos from Boko Haram.

The bombing at the Nyanya bus terminal on the outskirts of Abuja was the first major attack in the capital in two years.

Most of the insurgents’ violence in recent months had been concentrated in the group’s remote northeastern stronghold, where the military is waging an 11-month-old offensive.

The attack in Abuja underscored the serious threat the Islamists pose to Africa’s most populous country and top economy.

Shekau indicated that Boko Haram has fighters based in the capital.

Referring to President Goodluck Jonathan, he said: “We are in your city.”

Shekau has been declared a global terrorist by the United States, which has put a $7 million bounty (5.1 million euros) on his head.

Hours after the Abuja bombing, gunmen stormed a girls’ school in the northeast and kidnapped 129 students, an attack also blamed on Boko Haram that has sparked global outrage.

Forty-four of the girls have escaped so far, according to officials, and the military has said it has launched a major search and rescue operation.

P-SQUARE ON THE VERGE OF BREAK-UP.....FULL DETAILS

Whenever the news breaks we get it to you, so i got this exclusive report on the P-square break-up from LIB. LIB, gave a glimpse of the story yesterday but here is the full details....Read below

Yesterday I reported about the friction going on between the Okoye brothers. I didn't say they'd split, I only asked a question based on all the things I've been hearing and Jude Okoye's tweet. When asked yesterday, P-Square's publicist, Bayo Adetu, said the report is 'baseless and untrue'. Unfortunately, it is not! It's either Bayo is clueless as to what is happening in the Okoye household at the moment or he thinks the best thing to do for now is to deny that there's anything going on. 

I wrote that the twin brothers Peter and Paul engaged in physical combat on Wednesday. If this was false, Peter is a social media person, he would have immediately denied it. He didn't!

Unfortunately P-Square fans, things are even worse than I reported yesterday. According to my findings, Peter Okoye wants out of P-Square and they have even gone as far as inviting a lawyer to divide their fortune. Continue...

Now, let me make this clear. This report is based on what's been happening with the brothers up until right now Saturday April 19th. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, next week or next year but as of right now, Peter Okoye doesn't want anything to do with P-Square. I'm still hoping and many others are, that they will resolve their issues and realize that splitting will do no one good. So hopefully, they will resolve their issues. But I will still go ahead and tell you guys what's happening with the brothers as of now.

First, Peter Okoye has moved out of Squareville mansion in Omole where he lived with his brothers for years and now lives in Lekki Phase 1 with his wife Lola Omotayo and their children. An industry person I spoke with, who knows what's been going on, told me this;

"Yes they fought this week. Peter even left a mark on Paul's left eye. But the fight wasn't during rehearsal, which rehearsal? Peter has refused to do anything P-Square for weeks now. Forget that he was at his brother's wedding, things are not good between them right now. They were even invited to perform at president Jonathan's wedding but they didn't go. Peter wants out. He said Paul and Jude are sidelining him. That if they push out 200 songs, 199 would be songs Paul did. That people are now calling him a dancer in P-Square. Peter is really angry. He's even the cool and friendly one between the brothers but he is not himself right now. And then he accused his brother Jude of disrespecting his wife. Peter and Jude haven't spoken in weeks. Peter said Jude has been disrespecting Lola for years and he was done tolerating the BS. In fact Peter said that not only is Lola older than Jude, but that she's also pregnant and Jude was upsetting a pregnant woman. If you notice Jude didn't attend their wedding last year despite the fact that he was in Nigeria. Jude asked Peter why he didn't marry Lola when their mother was alive. Jude said it's his wife that is pushing him and they will need to pray for him. In fact nobody in the Okoye family likes Lola and they didn't support the marriage. The brothers are really angry at each other. The police is even involved. This week, either the commissioner of police or someone from his office visited their house.

The worst part is that they have invited lawyer to come and share property o. They want to share everything. The lawyer was at their house I think on Thursday. Peter said no more P-Square joint ventures. You know they own everything together, including a house in Omole, Parkview and Atlanta. Except something is done fast P-Square is about to be finished. But I know that people have been intervening and begging them to reconsider, that they are the biggest musical duo in Africa. Nobody will benefit if they split. The power to make money is in their togetherness.

It is Jude people are begging to keep the brothers together, but after what he tweeted yesterday, it may truly be over for P-Square. Jude has really tried for his brothers, for him to give up may mean it's over for them.

He practically put his entire life on hold for his brothers. Even sold his first car to shoot their first video but all that is about go come to an end like he tweeted. The only thing that can save the situation is if by a miracle Jude and Lola settle their differences but I don't see that happening"

I really hope it doesn't happen. P-square please get it together. Super Fans are hoping you guys stay together. 

MOST BEAUTIFUL:CAN WE ALL AGREE ON ONE THING ABOUT BEAUTY?

This is an article written by Dr. Kelly Flanagan focusing on beauty. He throws more light on the inner beauty, looking at it from a needle's eye. Yea, absolutely he made points about true beauty and its existence not only on the physical outlook. On reiterating on the Question of Dr kelly, Where are we most Beautiful?  I also add, Are we all beautiful(whether on the inside or outside)? Before you answer, Read the article below to see Dr Kelly's view point......Enjoy

A friend of my son asked my wife, with the kind of skepticism only a fourth-grader can muster, “Why do they want Mr. Flanagan on the show?” My wife responded, somewhat skeptically herself, “I guess they think he has more to say.” The young lady just laughed, rolled her eyes, and returned to her play.

Kids will keep you humble.

Shyanne Photo Credit: tanya_little via Compfight cc

But I do have a little more to say, because the letter to my daughter wasn’t complete. Near the end of the letter, I wrote about the last question I ask her every night: “Where are you the most beautiful?” And her answer: “On the inside.”

Why do I use the word most?

Because the last question of the night is always preceded by another question: “Are you beautiful on the outside?” And her answer: “Yes.”

Yes, I’m beautiful on the outside and, at the same time, I can affirm I’m most beautiful on the inside.

Can We Agree?

We have to ask both questions of our girls and, frankly, of ourselves. Without both questions, we end up thinking dualistically about beauty, and we end up in unfruitful debates about whether makeup is good or bad, or whether women who wear makeup are really strong or actually insecure. We end up picking sides and fighting it out.

But this is not an either-or debate.

It’s a both-and conversation. And we need to treat it as such, because we need all women together on this one. In fact, if we hope to stand strong against the messages about beauty and worth bombarding us, we need all women and all men together on this one.

Can we stop debating whether cosmetics are good or bad and instead simply agree they will never fully and forever deliver anyone into a sense of beauty and worth?

Can we agree that no fleeting, transient physical attribute or accessory will ever do so?

Can we agree no solid sense of identity will ever come from a focus on what’s happening on the surface of us, even if the surface is very good and very beautiful?

Can we agree that if my daughter tells me she doesn’t like the shape of her body, I won’t try to assuage her shame with compliments about other physical attributes, because then I’m just keeping the focus on her body, and her body will never be an enduring source of her peace?

Finding the Magic Inside

When I was in high school in the mid-90s, “magic eye pictures” went viral in the old fashioned way—everyone bought a book of them and stuck it in their bathroom reading basket. Magic eye pictures had two levels of graphics. The surface level was a random collection of beautiful shapes in a range of colors and patterns. But beneath this beautiful layer, there was another layer—a layer containing an organized, coherent, meaningful image.

If you stared at the surface of the picture, you saw only the random, chaotic beauty. But if you let the surface go out of focus, if you stared past the surface—deeply into the picture—the three-dimensional image depicted beneath the surface would jump out at you.

These were moments of true epiphany.

And we human beings are like those magic eye pictures.

We are physically magnificent creatures. Our surface layer is often a beauty to behold, full of brilliant color and vibrancy. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s something to be celebrated. But if we allow our gaze to rest there, if we look only at the surface of ourselves, we will feel like the surface of those pictures—a random collection of colors and patterns, with no real meaning or purpose.

But if we can avoid getting caught up in the details and distractions of our surface layer, if we can focus past it and gaze deeply into ourselves—and into others—an epiphany awaits us.

We will discover an image arising out of the chaos.

We will see the shape of who we are and it will bring with it a sense of coherence and purpose and meaning.

We will become three-dimensional creatures, alive in the world, jumping off the page of life, prepared to be ourselves in a world desperately in need of people who simply know who they are.

When we gaze deeply, we discover a self-image that cannot be touched by time or tarnished by age.

Forever Beauty

Several weeks ago, after I had asked my daughter our two questions and was walking out of her room, I heard her voice in the darkness. I returned to her, and with her voice full of curiosity, she asked, “Why is inside most beautiful, Daddy?” I responded with the first thought that came to mind.

“Because it’s a forever beauty.”

Her quizzical look dissolved into a smile and she laughed, saying, “Oh, yeah, I forgot.” As if she already knew it. As if it had slipped her mind. And I believe that might actually be true. I think as children we may be more fully, purely aware of where our real worth and value and beauty lie. As we grow up, we simply forget.

Which is why it’s good to remind ourselves. Over and over again. Are we beautiful on the outside? Absolutely. But where are we the most beautiful?

On the inside.

Forever.

UPDATE ON CHIBOK ABDUCTION: 14 CHIBOK GIRLS REUNITED WITH THEIR FAMILIES

The Borno State Government announced yesterday that fourteen more students of the state-owned Government Girls’ Secondary School, Chibok, are presently are out harm’s way following their escape from Boko Haram’s camp.

The state Commissioner for Education, Mr. Musa Inuwa Kubo, who gave an update on the abduction, said 11 of the girls escaped to a town on the Damboa/Biu Road, while the remaining three found their way to the school.

The commissioner, who has temporarily relocated his office to the school to take charge of the situation, said: “I am glad to say that fourteen (14) more students have escaped from their abductors.

“Out of this number, three are currently with me at Government Girls’ Secondary School,Chibok, the scene of the unfortunate abduction, while my Governor, Kashim Shettima, has confirmed to me today that 11 girls have escaped to a town along Damboa/Biu Road in Borno State after they escaped from captivity.

“The 11 ladies were immediately moved from the location to other parts of the state to reconnect with their families.

“The remaining 33 students in Chibok have also been moved out of the school to different parts of the state to join their families. The steps were taken to safeguard them.

“Meanwhile, with this development, we have 44 out of our 129 students at the hostel on the day of attack on the school. This means that we have 85 students yet to join us”.

Thirty students had returned from the custody of the terrorists by Thursday.

Of that number, 14 escaped from their abductors, while 16 were returned by their parents and guardians after they ran home on the day of the attack. The 16 were not abducted, he said.

The commissioner pleaded with parents/guardians whose children and wards ran home to return them to the school so “we could take proper account of our 129 students to know the number of those missing”.

85 of the abducted students are believed to still be in captivity.

Mr. Kubo said that the combined efforts of the security agencies and youth volunteers also known as civilian JTF for the intensive search “may have piled up pressure on abductors and possibly contributing to the escape of 28 students from captivity”.

He added: “We continuously pray that all our students return in good health as well as all the security agents and volunteers safely return.

“We are indeed grateful for the patriotic efforts being displayed by all those involved in the search and rescue operations. We are also very grateful to all Nigerians, institutions and governments within and outside our country for their unflinching support that has remained indelible to us in the education sector of Borno State.

“We once again call on parents and all sympathises to remain prayerful and hopeful that by the grace of God all the students will safely return to school.

“Once again, on behalf of the Borno State Government, my ministry, staff and students of the affected school, parents and relations of affected students, I very well appreciate the Nigerian and international media organisations for their most helpful support.

“I will keep updating any time there is something new which I hope will be positive”.

INDEFINITE STRIKE: HEALT WORKERS SHUTS DOWN LAUTECH

Workers at the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology Teaching Hospital (LAUTECH), Osogbo yesterday declared an indefinite strike action.

The decision was taken at a congress held by various workers unions at the institution on Wednesday. The workers complained about their unpaid salaries between October and December 2013, and March 2014.

The Medical and Dental Union in the Institution had commenced strike action a day earlier, Tuesday, 15th April 2014.